(A conversation between a young lady and I).
Lady: Good afternoon Mr. John.
Me: A beautiful afternoon to you too.
Lady: Sir, can I talk to you about something please?
Me: Sure. Try to make it brief.
Lady: Why do men stop loving their women immediately after having sex?
Me: You’ll have to rephrase this question oo, abi have I ever told you that I don’t love my wife anymore?
Lady: Oh, sorry Sir. I mean why do most men stop showing love to the lady they have been all over once they have sex with her?
I have been a victim of this severally. The men that have been coming my way, once they have sex with me, game over, everything changes; the hot chase, the long repeated daily calls, the gifts, the attention, the compliments- everything stops once I allow them to have sex with me.
I have even gotten to a stage where I deliberately delay the sex because I know it will put a stop to all the fun in the relationship.
The most painful part is that these men won’t even boldly tell me that they are no longer interested in the relationship. They’ll just hang around, keep everything boring, then I become the one to do the chase until I’m tired and decide to move on.
Me: Before I answer your question, I must first tell you that you’re not doing well. Sex is not meant for just anyone, sex is for the married only. These complications you’re experiencing should be the headache of someone that is married. Illicit sex is bad, God hates it, stop it already!
Lady Reluctantly nods her head in agreement.
Me: Now, to your question, the answer is simple; Those men changed towards you BECAUSE THEY NEVER LOVED YOU. There was no love from the start. Have you heard about the grandiose delusion of love?
Me: Good, that’s exactly what they felt for you. So, it is not because you gave them the sex that made them stop loving you, it is because there was no true love in the first place.
As opposed to what many people believe, sex does not make a man fall out of love. Sex is a tool that fuels and consolidates the bond of true love among couples. Under normal circumstances, sex should increase the depth of love.
You see those men who fall out of love immediately after having sex with you? It was because sex was all they wanted. Since it is not polite to walk up to you and tell you “Hey, can I have sex with you and we go our separate ways?”, they had to disguise themselves as lovers so that they could get the sex.
Whatever sweetness you enjoyed while you had not given them your body, whatever sacrifice they made for you, the attention they gave you, the gift they bought for you, the hot chase…their driving force and motivation to do all of those things was the sex. Sex was the prize, the sex is the reward for the whole effort they have put into the chase.
That is why they toned everything down immediately after they got the sex.
Let me ask you a question; do you expect an athlete to keep running after crossing the finish line and winning the race?
Lady: No sir, there’s no point.
Me: Good, that’s exactly a good way to describe what has been happening to you. Those men changed because they’ve reached the finish line and have won the prize…your body.
Lady: Hmmm, this makes sense…now I know; I’ve been a fool for too long.
Me: Lust is another reason a man would sleep with a woman and change towards her. The mistake many young ladies make is that they can’t differentiate between love and lust. “Baby buy for me” will not allow them to see far. The surprising part is that a man lusting after you can do ANYTHING to get what he wants, he can make unimaginable sacrifices but it won’t last long because it is not a genuine feeling, unlike love that is enduring.
Do you know that a man that has a burning desire for lust may also believe in the false feeling at that moment? He too may be thinking he loves you, but immediately reality hits, his eyes will open.
Lust alters sane reasoning. For a man in lust, manhood does the work of the brain. Unfortunately, manhood only thinks about sex. And once it gets it, it is satisfied…at least for that moment.
This is why you have to look out for yourself so that you won’t keep falling into the hands of men that want to use and dump you. You should also slow down with the romance, especially now that you’re still single. Time will eventually expose the real identity of those men if you’re patient enough.
You must be discerning. You must be able to understand when a man’s “I love you ” means “I want to have sex with you” and when it truly means he loves you.
Lady: Hmmm, thank you, Mr. John. This conversation has really helped clarify many things.
Me: It’s nothing, you’re welcome always.
Then I took a closer look at the lady and said.
Me: This one that your face is pale and your palms are swollen, is like you are already pregnant?
Lady: Mr. John leave me oh
Me: Tor, no vex, see you later then.
Lady: Bye Sir.
Hope you learned something good from this teaching?